Rachelle Keller

And Merry New Year! Yes, I like to be different, or rather indifferent . I feel like I have been assigned to write an essay on “What Christmas Means to Me”. I don't have any clever content to swipe as I did on Thanksgiving day, so I have to, sort of, “wing it’. I have chosen to no longer participate in the “holiday hype” specifically in the area of gift-giving. This decision isn't out of pure Scroogieness, it's out of pure survival from stress and holiday depression. You see, I think of gifts differently than your average bear. I always believed that a “gift” was something that someone gave because they thought enough of you to give you something—regardless of what that something might be. In other words, in my world there are no lame gifts . Let me repeat that: There are no lame gifts. I thought everyone felt this way. I think my true “there is no Santa” revelation came when I finally realized that not everyone believes that a gift…is a gift. I used to put my heart and sou...

I'm sorry, I had to. I'm an equal opportunity offender. Besides that, it really made me Laugh Out Loud! From http://www.icanhascheezburger.com -- Posted From My iPhone

I did fix the machine. Even though I thought I had replaced the cutter parts correctly, I had them backwards. Stupid exploded parts diagram. If the washer was to go on first, why didn't the picture indicate that the washer went on first? This did require a call to our service technician in Salt Lake City. It didn't take more than two minutes on the phone for me to get the problem corrected and we were on our way again! Here is another new idea that we have done in the past couple of days. Again, BigAl creates them in the software, I just bring the designs to life on the machine. He's software, I'm hardware. Up first the Bushwhackers design. This is one we couldn't totally agree upon. He wanted to use the beaver, I wanted it to look like some kind of retro logo. He came up with "Our Motto: Carpe Mufficus Nonicus". I had other ideas but that's the one he liked. I won't explain it here but just go to Uncyclopedia.wiki and look it up for yourself. A...

Ugh! The Big Bad Barudan is having a bit of a problem cutting thread. I replaced the cutter assembly with one that I found in the little blue toolbox of uselessness I have no way of telling if the part I replaced it with is new or used. It was just in the box. I took a chance. I kinda failed. Hopefully I will be able to find the part that I need tomorrow. But while troubleshooting the cutter I noticed that one of the parts, known as the "thread away hook" was not moving down to hook the thread. I could hear the solenoid and it was moving, it just wasn't moving down to catch the thread. I began to look at the mechanism that moved that hook. I found a nut missing, but it has probably been missing the whole time, I'll replace that easily. But still the hook wasn't moving down to catch the thread. It was hitting on something that was preventing downward movement. Big Al asked if “…that bar was supposed to be bent”. WHAT bar? I didn't see any bar (go away!). Well, ...

I'm not sure how many days ago I last posted an update. I have been really busy. There are two or three new designs we have been working on, just getting the finer details down and getting the shirts finished up and photographed. I decided against photo "status reports" on these designs as the front and back work together as a whole. In many ways it would be like revealing the punch line then telling the joke. Since today was a "lazy" Sunday, we did little more than think up a tag line for an existing project. It wasn't easy coming up with a line we both could agree upon. In the end I just conceded and "helped along" with the idea Big Al had. I hope it will be okay. I don't know. We keep quibbling over semantics—things aren't always written the same way they are said. I'm not getting a ton on hits to the website, but then again I'm not promoting the hell out of it either. I have been so busy with so many other things. I need to keep...

The moment we have been working for these past few months has arrived! We have a store! We have designed, stitched, photographed, and now we are LIVE! This morning I took the payment gateways online and I have been uploading and listing product as we get it produced. The new storefront: Big Ass Dude Online Store Look for the banner ad at the bottom of my blog page soon. I need to make the time to do that to. Yikes!

Breasts, bosom(s), bust, chest, boobs, knockers, bazooms, hooters… I am both elated and disappointed to say that today's mammogram was not nearly as bad as I remembered them to be. Elated because it wasn't bad at all, and disappointed because I really don't have anything to bitch about. Of course I had major anxiety about the event, not because I'm afraid they might find something but because it might hurt. I go to great lengths to avoid pain when possible. Many years ago my doctor did, indeed, find a lump, a mass, call it what you will. Because I have a family history of breast cancer a mammogram was swiftly ordered. That my first, and previous, mammogram was some ordeal! It was the kind the cartoons and jokes were written about. I swear my boob was indeed in that vice for, like, five minutes. I don't recall them doing both sides, maybe they did, one was bad enough! It hurt, it was uncomfortable, and I had no idea that I could squish down to about a quarter-inch fl...

Oh. My. God! Sometimes I believe that I can be more creative than the average schmo, but there are times when someone else's creativity indisputably is the winner. I have spent many-a-night—before the sleeping pills take effect—thinking of creative uses for the Big Bad Barudan. This never entered my mind. It is exactly what it looks like it is. Not in a million sleep-induced nights would I have even thought of doing this. It's pretty cool, tho' I would have had it say, “I like corn dogs” or “I love bacon”. I mean, is there anything quite as great as toilet paper? (well, bacon, but I could probably still survive without [shudder] bacon.) This lovely creation comes from FlatOutFun's Etsy shop out of Astoria, Oregon. They'll embroider just about anything you like on a roll of the finest fluffy stuff just for you. Okay, I will to, but they have the logistics of the project already figured out so I defer to them… FlatOutFun's Etsy Shop They specialize in "fun...

Isn't He Cute? Well, what did you think I was talking about? This is one of our newest “test stitchouts” There are no green polka dot fabric shirts anywhere around here…but the remnant was cheap and I just needed to run the file. I also didn't have the right colors of fabric or thread but this is close enough. Hey, I could have done him in pig-hog pink or all grey. This is our most ambitions appliqué project to date. Lots of pieces to place, tack down, and trim. I have a nice special set of sharp scissors to get all the details. It doesn't look like much right now. Now all the fabric pieces are in place. The beauty of appliqué work is that a shape of colored fabric can be put down in lieu of thousands of stitches as a background. We figured out how to do this fairly fast. As you can see the stitching adds detail and dimension to the appliqué pieces. This went well until quitting time last night where the particular color needle I was using kept detecting “false thread brea...

I have been preparing for the dreaded triple-M this upcoming Monday Morning's Mammogram thusly: Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home! Exercise 1: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough. Exercise 2: Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over an...

In the "to be continued…" department, the FAT BOY shirts have been enhanced. The pig-bulldog has been reworked to look more like a pig-hog and has been added underneath the Ride a (real) FAT BOY. We have pinky-fleshy shades so I didn't have to use grey again. That WAS just a test, after all. Notice, if you can, the earring. We were able to do this in shiny gold metallic thread…mmm, so shiny and sparkly! The front of the shirt has a left-front above pocket hit that says HOG using the pig-hog eyes and nose from the back design. I really didn't want a Harley logo there. Besides, the HOG is way more fun! The final touch is a hit above the left front hem with the "big ass dude" logo. No, the photo is not upside down, I had to stitch it upside down because of how the shirt had to be placed in the hoop. That's a lot of stitch work for just one shirt, but that's our goal. We want to make really cool stitched, not screen-printed shirts with some fun built in!...

I have no life. But did I ever? Nothing new there. I have always been at work on one project or another. The difference is, when I'm self-directed I become distracted and often start a new project when I realize that it isn't going to be as perfect as I originally pictured it. Left to myself for motivation, I never ever get any project done. Now that I'm working on a project in conjunction with Big Al, he pushes me to keep going—to keep going long after the novelty of the new project has worn off. At least we're starting off on "equal ground" with this one. He's new to the software, I'm new to the Big Bad Barudan. We both work along and learn at our own different paces. I was hoping to get something of a "break" today. We needed to move on to the next design, for variety if nothing else, and we didn't have the thread colors needed to accomplish this. But that's okay. It's just a "stitch-out" to see where the errors are i...

Hit the ground running today. Woke up late, so much to do! Visited an embroidery shop with a combined total of about 90 sewing heads. They have machines that have 18 heads running at once on the same project. That's about, oh, 18 times faster than I can run a job so we got a bid from them. My job has been outsourced already. Then off to the local supplier of thread and parts. Got a frame to use with the Big Bad Barudan instead of a hoop. The stitching area is much larger, but a table top is required. With the table top in place, I can't check thread tensions. Frustrating. Luckily, I got most of the adjustments made before I started to run the job. Inhaled a slice of reheated pizza—DiGorno, not delivery—which was fairly easy until I got to the dry-gaggy crusty part. I think that will be stuck in my throat until Tuesday. And, as usual, burned the roof of my mouth on the molten cheese. Nevertheless, it was deeelissshus! Ever do something so stupid you are amazed that you have surv...

We have used up all of the shirts that we bought doing different tests with different colors of thread, appliqué and placement. We'll just go buy more, right? Sure as long as we wanted any color besides black, white, or charcoal grey! I have a black and red color block shirt but it is just crying out for a stitch with red thread. I have maroon, not red. I need red thread. We have other shirts, fisherman-style with a back cape flap, but found that I could not do a vertical hoop on the flap without unstitching the shirt itself. Can't rotate the design because it won't fit in the hoop. What to do? Make up a different design, of course! Big Al is in the middle of that. In the meantime I can trim the loose threads on the shirts I have, prepare appliqué pieces, etc. But I probably won't because I'll forget to do it. Murphy has been living in my machine today anyway. Constantly stopping for one dumb reason or another. But since I'm the queen of troubleshooting and have...

So I have had the Big Bad Barudan running almost constantly since Saturday morning, excepting the challenging "down times" where I learn more about the machines little tiny parts and how just the simplest thing can make the difference between "working" and "not working". We have another shirt! This time a 2XL. Little did I realize that it wasn't finished yet. These shirts have to be put into giant embroidery hoops and it is far from easy. It involves putting the hoop, the stabilizer, the shirt, and the top hoop on the floor, and using both hands and both knees I have to get the damned thing perfectly aligned AND tightly inside the hoop. Today I had to put a whole dollar in the swear jar because I had a shirt hooped, had the pins taken out, was making minor adjustments, and the whole thing popped apart on me. The devil-skull was hooped vertically. To do the "Ride Like the Devil!" I had to rehoop horizontally. That's where the whole dollar...

Big Al is the digital side of our operation. He manipulates most of the artwork on the Big ol' Mac. I'm in charge of the Big Bad Barudan. He does what he knows best, I do what I know best. He likes to manipulate files, I like to do technical mechanical-troubleshooting work. Here he is working on yet another rendition of our devil-skull image. This is a "3-D" image, or rather a stitch mockup made by our fancy- schmancy software that turns out to have some serious limitations. There are many digitizing programs out there on the market but no really good ones for the Mac. So, rather than sink money into something as useless as a PC, we went for Mac software that is actually a plugin for Adobe Illustrator. This also prevented learning all new software. Here is the design actually stitched onto a Dickies size 3XLT shirt and modeled by Big Al. This is the real thing and not a fancy Photoshop trick. For the most part it went really well. We're working on another one at ...

I think I'll begin here with a complete fail . This is our yarmulke-wearing friend completed out. Well, not so much completed as…well…all was pretty lost at the point of the cranium here so I skipped wasting any more thread on the colors in the middle and went straight for the black detail and the flames in the eyes, to make sure that would work alright. It actually didn't. When the black got to the left "ear" area, the machine had reached it's distance limit and could go no further to complete the stitch around the outside. More measuring and more notes. The next file would be a little bit smaller. The next attempt was to see if the total stitch count could be reduced by using a fabric applique background rather than solid stitching. This seemed to work quite well and the mottled grey fabric really added to the overall design. This test was the black and red colors only and the design was rotated on the computer before loading it into the embroidery machine. Tha...

After a freezing few days on the Utah Tundra, we are back in SoCal picking up where we left off. We ran the Big Bad Barudan right up until the moment we left. We were hoping to complete the latest design before we left so we could take it with us. No such luck. High stitch count, would have taken a few more hours. We looked at the design and Big Al said, "Why is it doing that color?". Hey, it's a machine. Garbage in, garbage out. I said I programmed the color sequence exactly as he "told" me to. I had the color sequence written down as we were making changes. I asked him to VERIFY it. He did, but apparently missed something. NOT a big deal. I have figured out how to advance forward, backward, and pretty much get right back to exactly where and what color and/or stitch I need to be on…but I boogered up this time too. I can advance the machine and assign the proper color as long as I push the appropriate button once . I guess if I push the button twice it goes a...

UTAH BLOG: Aug 12 Moved to our new home in Utah. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic, can hardly wait to see snow covering them. Oct 14 Utah is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here. Nov 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here. Dec 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and then the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Utah. Dec 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did its trick again to the dr...

A pro gress report and some photos I didn't get to before. A completed wing. White parts laid down first, outlined by black parts. Some mystery misregistration occurred. Later found that it was probably fabric stretch. The design should have been built and stitched from the center out. In addition, a heavier cut-away stabilizer should have been used. Overall, not great, but not too bad. Now black laid down first and white stitched on top. This worked much better, but the stitch count is still very heavy. Didn't have any misregistration problems because the entire shape was laid down in black as a background and the white was stitched on top of it. A few threads to trim here and there, but it worked. Another successful "test". Big Al does most of the digital work and digitizing while I fiddle with the technical aspects of the machine. He often complains that he can't get anything done. Wonder why? When Schmoopie wants lovin' & scratchin', she wants lovi...

When I last left off, I was having problems with the machine coming unthreaded. I did finish the white wing project, one-unthreaded-needle-at-a-time. It was a B-I-T-C-H! I did every trouble-shooting solution in the manual and even tried a few things of my own. I cranked the tension waaaayyyyy down hoping that would help but to no avail. I unthreaded and re-threaded the machine and did everything I know of using my knowledge of normal sewing machines. But that particular project being done, the things learned are filed away for future reference and Big Al changed the original wing file for yet another round of experimentation. The new file was bigger and better than ever. However, he changed the sew order of the colors so I started out sewing black, the needle came unthreaded early and he said, “No, that's supposed to be white.” I had to remember how to change colors/needles on the fly to get the right color down first. You can't see it but the white sewed back down over the bla...

The first piece we turned out from the Big Bad Barudan: My iPhone hates me sometimes when it comes to taking photos but it was easier than finding either one of the other cameras! The horseshoe design was already loaded into the machine's memory and we kind of wanted instant gratification so we stitched it out first in black, then I moved the pantograph slightly up and to the left and reran the design in white, giving kind of a drop shadow look. Not much, but hey, the machine did what it was supposed to. Next came one of our own designs. It was intentionally two-color, but I had forgotten how to tell the machine to change colors so it stitched the entire piece in all black (bottom). This wasn't bad, not the effect we wanted, but it also worked well. I remembered how to program the color sequence so we ran the same file again, this time with two colors (top). That went VERY well. But it would be a couple of weeks before making another attempt because we had some life- and energy...

We're heading back to the ol' busstead after an errand and Big Al makes a U-turn—I wasn't paying attention, I was probably tweeting from the iPhone or something—and we end up at a small furniture store. Big Al has been looking for a work chair for some time now. The old office chair, “kills my ass” and so did the folding chair, and the folding recliner, “sat back too far”. We looked at chairs, too big, too small, not sturdy enough, too expensive… (Ahhhhh!) You could almost hear the angelic choir as a golden beam came down from the sky and shone on this chair. Not too big, not too small, brand new, and a decent price. New furniture is great although, personally, I hate shopping for it. Worse than shopping for it is getting it home. Have I mentioned that we have a Hyundai sedan? WTF are we going to do with that chair now? Well, he left me inside with the crazy Chinese owner who had to tell me about the whole business, his great prices, and, “Tell all your friends to come here...

I had already forgotten about my post a month or so ago about buying the Big Bad Barudan and the bus remodel. We've had a lot going on since then three events and the end-of-season inventory and clean-up for our NHRA trailer. It was nearly a MONTH before we got to try out the Big Bad Barudan! Of course by then my memory on exactly how the machine worked was not all that great. Of course it isn't easy to distract me…nope, not at all. Luckily I can work from written instructions. Give me a user manual and even if there are errors, sooner or later I will figure it out. This time was no exception. However, it probably took me an hour to thread two colors of thread into the machine. Once it was done, it was done right and I haven't had to mess with that since. The very first files I stitched out were very successful. A horeshoe looking thing, and a wing. That was all I was able to do at the time. Now another couple of weeks have gone by and we made another attempt. All went well...

This has been a rough couple of weeks. We have done an almost complete tear down and rebuild of the interior of the bus. Previously we had moved the bed from its original location in the back to the front and built an office/studio in the back. The new plans made us have to do the reverse. We got an awesome deal on a Barudan 15-needle commercial embroidery machine. We have some really really BIG ideas! As artists with newly-acquired knowledge of the apparel industry we feel that we can use our talents in a very special niche market…but I digress… The machine is fairly large and we knew that we would never get it into the back studio with the potty chamber, shower, and closet configuration. Among the three there is a sharp narrow zigzag turn that would be impossible to make with that size of machine table. What to do? Well, we almost completely gutted the inside of the back studio and the front living area tearing them down to empty nothingness. The biggest thrill was putting carpet in...

With Twitter under attack from who-knows what, I guess I can carry on as usual here while they get their servers back up to snuff. Also, things are NOT looking good for LiveJournal. Blogger is all I have left! Here is yesterday's journey on a map: We so could not have made this trip doing the original 700+ miles per day Big Al had planned. Just too damned hot and hard on the bus! At least it isn't as hot in Flagstaff, but then our elevation is now well over 7,000 feet. It feels good. Nice! Heh,heh…went into the truck stop to see what they ha d. I always do :-) Checked out some jewelry. I realize that they lock it up because it's sterling silver, but don't try to fool me into thinking it's turquoise when it's really dyed magnesite or howlite. C'mon! Finally after I-don't-know-how-long we are back at the Church o'Pancakes, otherwise known as Cracker Barrel. Sure, we ate at CB last night, but that was dinner! There's nothing quite like pecan pancake...