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UTAH BLOG:

Aug 12 Moved to our new home in Utah. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic, can hardly wait to see snow covering them.

Oct 14 Utah is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

Nov 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and then the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Utah.

Dec 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did its trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

Dec 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow.

Dec 22 More of that fucking white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling snow. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. ASSHOLE.

Dec 25 Merry Fucking Christmas. More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

Dec 27 More of that white shit fell last night. Been inside for three days except to shovel the driveway each time the fucking snowplow goes by. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of that white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

Dec 28 The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snowplow got stuck down the road and the ASSHOLE came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling that fucking white shit he had pushed into the driveway. I broke the seventh one over his fucking head.

Jan 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a fucking deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last October.

May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the son-of-a-bitch is rusting out from all the salt they put on the roads?

May 10 Moved to California. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in that fucking Utah.

~Source unknown. Taken from one of those copies of a copy of a copy back before the email days, but I could have written it myself.

Comments

  1. Verra Verra Funny!!!
    I agree wholeheartedly!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha! this is great. Reminds me of WA state. So gorgeous in the summer, and then it snows for 6 months. :P

    ReplyDelete

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